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Software of the Month Club 1996 April
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3.DET
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1996-01-30
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163 lines
24, 74, 1, 4, 159, 1, 0
[RD,RD]
[BK,WH] ELECTRONIC PUBLISHING IS THE FUTURE
[MG,MG]
[YW,LB]â██████████████████████████████████████████á[LB,LB]
[WH,BK]▓▓▓▓▓ VERBS FOR BEGINNERS ▓▓▓▓▓[LB,LB]
[YW,LB]████████████████████████████████████████████[LB,LB]
[BK,LC] ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐ [LB,LB]
[BK,LC] │ Literary legend says the worst novel │ [LB,LB]
[BK,LC] │ ever written began "It was a dark and │ [LB,LB]
[BK,LC] │ stormy night." │ [LB,LB]
[BK,LC] └────────────────────────────────────────┘ [LB,LB]
Amateur writing is identifiable by weak verbs.
If you're an unpublished writer you may find it helpful
to review every verb in your story and search for a
better word to replace each one.
That's a utopian goal, of course, but much closer than
many beginners and other amateurs think.
[MG,LB]â████████████████████████████████á[LB,LB]
[BK,WH]▓▓▓▓▓ WHAT ARE VERBS? ▓▓▓▓▓[LB,LB]
[MG,LB]██████████████████████████████████[LB,LB]
Verbs are the little words that run, dart, dash, dip,
dive, scurry, scramble, and add life to your writing.
One verb that fails to add life or movement is "to be."
In all its forms it just lies there, cold and dead,
taking up space you need for a live one.
[BK,LC] IMPORTANT: ─── [WH,LB] At every opportunity avoid all
forms of the verb "to be". You
can't kick them all, but you can
come close. The more of them you
eliminate, the closer you come to
professionalism.
There are, of course, exceptions for convenient cliches
and colloquialisms. [BL,YW] NOTE: [WH,LB] Make that "Exceptions exist..."
Amateur writing is distinguished by constant use of
the word "was" in narration. Better writers use better
verbs.
[BK,LC] PROFESSIONAL TIP ─── [WH,LB] Check the sports pages for
verb use. You'll find that a running
back never "goes" around right end or
through the line. He scurries, scrambles,
rambles, rumbles, dives or performs in
some other energetic manner that's neither
described nor implied by "goes" or "went."
[MG,LB]â████████████████████á[LB,LB]
[BK,WH]▓▓▓▓▓ EXAMPLES ▓▓▓▓▓[LB,LB]
[MG,LB]██████████████████████[LB,LB]
Here are examples of weak verbs snatched from
generally competent fiction uploaded to a writers'
forum. Note how easily the weakness gains muscle.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] The head and shoulders of one agent
was blocking his target.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] The head and shoulders of one agent
blocked his target.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] As head of the team, it was his
responsibility to keep her safe.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] Responsibility for keeping her safe
fell on him, head of the team.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] Joe's head was no longer in the way.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] Joe moved his head out of the way.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] Andrea was in her forties, she was
still strikingly beautiful.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] Still in her forties, Andrea radiated
a striking beauty.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] After a colorless start, Mark was
finally sensing some momentum.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] After a colorless start, Mark finally
sensed some momentum.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] He was brutal and arrogant behind
closed doors; and not much better
on the portal's public side.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] His brutality and arrogance behind
closed doors improved only slight-
ly on the public side of the portal.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] He was making a third piece of toast
several hours later when the
phone rang.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] Several hours later he toasted the
third slice and the phone rang.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] She opened the door, looked both ways,
and went down the hall to meet Luke.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] She opened the door, looked both ways,
and scooted down the hall to meet Luke.
[BK,LC] ORIGINAL: [WH,LB] He tossed the grenade through the win-
dow and went to hide behind the tree.
[BK,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] He tossed the grenade through the win-
dow and scrambled to hide behind the
tree.
[MG,LB]â██████████████████████████á[LB,LB]
[BK,WH]▓▓▓▓▓ PAINT PICTURES ▓▓▓▓▓[LB,LB]
[MG,LB]████████████████████████████[LB,LB]
English is the world's most expressive language. A
word to say exactly what you want to say awaits your
serious search. You can paint more vivid pictures with
verbs than with adjectives and adverbs.
[BK,LC] EXAMPLE: [WH,LB] "She went down the hall."
That's a dim and uninspiring picture for the
reader.
Depending on mood, circumstances, and the
scene you want your reader to see, she
might waltz, dance, hop, stroll, amble,
sway, wiggle, roll, billow, swing, drop,
whip, creep, crawl, ankle, hotfoot it,
ooze or cruise.
Each of those words paints a different
picture of your character's actions and
emotional state.
Failure to make the search -- through your mind, your
word processor's thesaurus, and your paperback Roget's
-- earns you the label, "lazy writer."
If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.
[RD,RD]
[BK,WH] ELECTRONIC PUBLISHING IS THE FUTURE
[MG,MG]
[LB,WH]⌠ ─── ⌡[LB,LB]